If there is a good time for a short visit, you can let people know, but of course tell them to call first. If things are not going well, and your spouse does not want visitors, you can send that information out.

You may want to ask a close friend or other family member to be the point person for contacting other people. Make sure you ask for what you need, and make sure you are clear about what you don’t need, like lots of visitors at the same time.

Your church or temple may have a group who help people in the community who are sick. Take advantage of this help. If your spouse was in a union there may be people who volunteer to help out. Any other organization he or she belonged to may very well have volunteers ready to assist people in need.

Your friends will want to help, too, although they may not know what to do. Tell them what you need. You can ask people to do small but important things. Shopping, cooking, doing the laundry, picking up medicine from the pharmacy, walking the dog – just make a list, actual or in your head, of everything you have to do. Ask other people, be they friends or family that want help, to assist you with the things that don’t absolutely demand your attention. If your spouse is having radiation therapy and not feeling too bad, maybe he or she wouldn’t mind having another family member drive to the hospital for treatment.  You have to use your best judgment.

The American Cancer Society also has information about where caregivers can get help. Carepages also offers suggestions.

Often, a call to the doctor may be a good choice. Someone who is very familiar with your spouse’s condition may know what will help make him or her feel better. It may be supplementary oxygen, or a stronger pain medicine. Or the doctor may want to have his patient seen in the emergency room to see if fluid has re-accumulated in the chest and can be drained.

You and your spouse or partner need to discuss this before a middle of the night emergency, if that is possible. You should have all the phone numbers of the doctors and hospitals and pharmacies that are open all night someplace where you can find them easily.

As far as the immediate family and closest friends, you need to let them know how their family member with mesothelioma is doing. If he or she is feeling very sick from the disease and/or the treatment, there may not be very much he or she can participate in. On the other hand, if someone with mesothelioma is having a good stretch of time with a response to treatment, he or she may want to do a little more. Let family know that visits may be short, and that plans may have to be changed.

Events will happen to your family while the mesothelioma is being treated. Your spouse may or may not make it to a wedding or a birthday party. But your family should continue to go on with important things in their own lives. They can bring pictures or videos for you to look at later.

If your spouse’s health is deteriorating rapidly, you should be able to reach the closest family members, as well as dearest friends, so that they will be prepared.

You may also want to seek the assistance of your minister, priest or rabbi. Most are able to give counseling, spiritual and other help. Your church or temple may have a group that volunteers to help members who are sick. If there is a group like that at your church or temple, let them help your family.

The American Cancer Society has help for caregivers, a program called “I Can Cope.” There is information online, and there are both community and online classes that you can take or attend, depending on where you live. You can check for class locations and get more information at http://www.cancer.org/docroot/ESN/content/ESN_3_1X_I_Can_Cope.asp.

If you are comfortable using the Internet, you can visit a site called Carepages. Carepages gives specific ideas for help, and offers online forums where you can chat with other caregivers. You can register for a Carepage at http://www.carepages.com/

It is also important to remember that you have no way of knowing how long you will live with the disease, or how long you will be able to testify to what you know, or give information about what happened. Once you give the lawyer all the information you can, he can go on to pursue any and all claims you might have. Hopefully, if he can recover money, it will be available for you if you need it. If the claim takes a very long time, the money may come to your spouse or family after you are gone.

You will want to detail in your will where you want settlement money to go, should an award come when you are no longer able to state what you want to do with it.

You need to keep a record of all your medical bills and treatment. You are already keeping copies of your medical records. You should separately keep copies of your bills.

To document work exposure, you need any records that can prove when and where you were working. W-2 forms can do that, as can any tax records. Any information given to you in writing should be found if possible. You want to document where and when you think you were exposed, and if there were other people you know who can verify what you say. Your lawyer may want to reach them.

The military will need all your military records

Your attorney will tell you what else he or she needs.

At the current time, your employer is responsible for letting you know if you are working with asbestos, and your employer is supposed to provide certain kinds of protection and information.

It will be your lawyer’s job to investigate these whether or not your employer may be responsible for your mesothelioma.

You can’t watch television for very long without seeing an ad for mesothelioma lawyers, and the same is true for many websites. Rather than just guess, if you can get a personal recommendation, you will probably feel more comfortable.

If someone on television or a particular website appeals to you, you can meet with that person or firm, but try and get concrete information from them on how many cases they have handled and how much success they have had.

You will want your lawyer to be working on your legal rights and trying to get any possible compensation due you to treat your illness. Then you can concentrate on your treatment.

If you are in a union, you may be able to get help and information from your union. If you were exposed in the military, you need to start with the VA.

However, to fight for your rights, you will probably need an attorney, one who specializes in personal injury lawsuits. You would probably do best with an attorney or firm that specializes in mesothelioma litigation.